Ghost Road Blues

Summertime for me means diving into some fun reads. It's when I put away the "scholarly stuff" and tear through a bone chilling horror or a smutty romance or a fluffy feel-good drama. I figured I'd write a little bit about my current read because it's by a local author, and I feel like giving props.

To those of you who don't know, I went through a HUGE Stephen King phase in middle school. I have read something like 15 Stephen King books and have another 5 or 6 on my bookshelves I never got to. I'm mentioning this because the book I'm in the middle of reminds me a lot of old Stephen King... like Pet Sematary and the Shining days. It has that slowly building climax that will have you jumping at shadows and features just the right amount of weird without taking it too far (think Hearts in Atlantis).

The book is called "Ghost Road Blues", by Jonathan Maberry. It's set in the fictional town of Pine Deep, PA, a town whose economy comprises of farming activities, tourism, and Halloween. Weird events begin to transpire one harvest, reminiscent of the events of the Black Harvest that took place 30 years prior. Pine Deep begins to record a body count, and all sorts of monsters begin to fester and take form - some from outside, some that were resting in the citizens of the town. A book that progresses slowly through the first half, by the time you pass the midway point, you won't want to put it down until you've devoured every chilling moment.

Okay, so I'm no professional book critic... any maybe I'm hyping it up a little... ;-)

But really, this book is pretty good and you can pick it up cheap at various places. So if you're like me, and beach weather means indulging in some less-than-academic reading, I recommend picking it up. And if you do, let me know what you think.

(I also started the Sookie Stackhouse series this summer, and read The Labyrinth by Kate Mosse - both of which I recommend)

Where I'm At: Self-Analysis

I always like to start a new blog/diary with a brief analysis of where I'm at in my life at that time. I've found that it's always interesting to go back in a year or two and see how that's changed since the time I wrote it. I believe that I'm changing every month, week, day... and so far, I've been pretty happy with my changes. I've come a long way from the world of problems and insecurities that was me in high school. Of course, let's be realistic - I'm also still a long way from where I want to be.

School

This is one of the easiest areas to start with. I'm currently in my 4th year of college, and I've recently entered into the BS/MBA program at Drexel. Basically what this means is that instead of the 5 year program with 3 co-ops that I originally entered, I'll be waiving my 3rd co-op and taking an accelerated class schedule, finishing up my undergraduate work in 4 years and then starting graduate classes in my 5th, still graduating in 2011, but with an MBA in addition to my bachelors. (And let's be honest, with the market in the toilet, I really don't mind waiting till 2011 to find a job).

So far I'm on track with this goal. I'm on schedule as far as classes go, I'm taking the GMAT in the fall, and I've already obtained 1 out of 2 professor recommendations (and waiting on the 2nd as I write this). So pretty much all that's left is to keep up my progress as far as classes go, and score well on the GMAT. Of course, then there's the issue of if I really want to do my graduate work at Drexel...

If I do well enough on the GMAT, I will probably apply to other graduate schools with better credentials. Let's face it, I have never loved Drexel. Sure, it helped me to meet Tom - a fact I will always be grateful for - and has beared witness to some HUGE character growth on my part... but it was always just a safety school for me, one that seduced me with a large scholarship. Where would I go for graduate school, if given the choice? Oh dear, who knows? Somewhere new. Somewhere different. Probably somewhere in the south or the midwest... or possibly even California. I just want to experience as much as I can before I'm done with school, because I know that it becomes much harder to leave an area and try something new when you have an established career, a house, etc etc.

My GPA has wonderfully recovered from my disastrous mistakes of freshman year, thanks to a couple terms of hard work and much less procrastination. It's still not where I'd like it, but it's on its way. I'll get there. I would love to see the looks on my parent's and grandparent's faces if I graduated with honors. Which brings me to my next area...

Family

I love my family to death. College has been so good for me in this regard. It's no secret that my dad and I had a rocky relationship at best in high school. Our fights would leave me contemplating sole custody for my mom and him thinking it was probably a good idea. Thank god we got through that. My dad knows I love him so much, and I am so proud of the things he does (well, some of them, lol). I'm glad he's found Kelly, too; I know they fight a lot and - if I'm honest - are probably not that compatible... but she takes care of him and is keeping him healthy, and he needs a steady woman by his side to keep him grounded.

My mom and I have always been close, but as I get older she really has become one of my best friends. I can talk to her about (almost) anything. I know that I've gotten so many of my characteristics from her, and that couldn't make me happier. I've always been proud of how strong of a woman she is. My only wish is that she would get out and start dating again, or going out for drinks with the girls or whatever. I want to see her happy in her own skin, and realize for herself what a fantastic catch and amazing woman she is.

Ty and I have always been pretty close, I think having divorced parents made us even closer. We were always constants in each others lives, even when it seemed like everything was always changing. He graduated high school this year, and it makes me feel old to have my little brother going off to college. I'm proud of him too, I have to admit he's doing better for himself than I was at his age. He's got a good group of friends that have been together since elementary school, plus a few others from high school. I have never really had that, friends always seem to come in to my life and leave a few years later...

Friends

This is one area I know I need to work on, although I suppose I'm not sure what the first step should be. I do not have a lot of friends, and none that I am really close to. I lost touch with my grade school friends in high school, because we never really had classes together and, well, let's face it - I wasn't a great person in high school. My friends from high school barely even talk to me, maybe 2 or 3 of them actually keep up to date on my life. I get the occasional invite to a large group gathering, but I don't feel like I belong in that loop anymore. I doubt any of them really care about me, and invitations just come out of habit. That sounds horribly bitter, but it's just how I see it. People I thought were true friends and would have done anything for, those same people never call me or even shoot me a message on facebook. You would think that after 4 years of hanging out and taking classes together and whatnot that they would care what was going on in my life... Oh well.

Now, in college, my ability to make friends has been seriously damaged by the fact that I do not party. I'm not a drinker or a clubber, and the one house party I went to was the lamest thing ever. I'm in a serious long-term relationship and that probably doesn't help either. So I never get invited out, I'm seen as un-fun, and thus I spend most Friday/Saturday nights at home or with Tom. I hate that I have no "girls" to have a girls night with, and that my guy friends seemed to disappear slowly when they realized I was in a serious relationship. You know how much it sucks to have a fight with Tom or have family issues or whatever, and to go through my cell phone and realize I have no one to talk about it with? Or to go to a wedding and realize I have no idea who my maid of honor or bridesmaids would be? Anyway, let me stop that track before I start crying.

Tom

Let's face it. Tom is probably one of the biggest contributors to my growth over the last few years. He has believed in me more than anyone, and pushed me to always better myself. And even when I mess up, he loves me no matter what and has taught me a lot about being happy with who I am. We've been together for 2 years now (3 years in October), and we're still going strong. We moved in together last year, and it was a good decision. Sure, it had its rough spots... but I think we've both helped the other a lot, and I love spending every night together. I wouldn't trade that closeness for the world.

Me

Let me close up with the area that's hardest to approach analytically - myself. To start with, I've lost about 16 lbs since March (yay) through just cutting back on some bad foods and moderating others. I've been trying to spend a little more time on my outward appearance because it helps me to feel confident and happy about myself. I've gotten new clothes that fit me better and are slightly more revealing because I'm sick of letting my weight discourage me from wearing cute clothing or showing my arms or legs. No more wearing jeans in summer or refusing to buy anything sleeveless. And it's honestly made me feel a lot better about myself.

My Internet addiction is still a struggle (ironic that I'm writing this online, lol). I keep wanting to create a new Twitter account and then I have to stop myself because I don't want to let it slip me out of my groove. Things like AIM and Facebook I have to just be careful with, because it's easy to lose myself in them for hours. I've thought about seeing a therapist, and maybe I should, but I'm stubborn and I'd rather solve this problem myself. The one thing that has really helped me is reading. I've been trying to invest a lot of my free time into rediscovering my love for reading, and so far it's working. I've actually thought about starting a book club. (Any interested members, message me!)

I probably should have joined more clubs or something in college, but honestly I've worried that if I had distractions around me, my schoolwork would suffer. Probably a stupid thought, and now that I'm down to 3 terms remaining, it seems pointless. I don't know, maybe I'll pledge Beta Alpha Psi this fall. They've emailed me a few times, and it sounds like something I'd be interested in.

Personal goals for myself:
1) Get my GPA to 3.7 before graduation.
2) Score a 700+ on the GMAT.
3) Get my CPA before 2012.
4) Lose 30 lbs more before graduation... and then keep losing!
5) Make at least 3 new friends in the next year, and get closer with my currents.
6) Join at least one more organization.
7) Get a part-time job this year.

If you've read through all of this, well, wow! Thanks for taking such an interest in me. Feel free to share your thoughts (if you have any) in my comments. Advice and suggestions are definitely welcome!